Don't speak. I know just what you said, so please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts. Don't speak. I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts...

©20020531©

 
People never cease to piss me off. This dumbass from Ohio was in front of me at a red light. Then the light turned green and he just sat there letting everyone turning left go even though WE HAD THE RIGHT OF WAY! I honked my horn at him and the idot finally got a damn clue and went, but then the light turned red, so the rest of us were stuck there again. I yelled and gave him the finger. Then the light turned green again, so I started to go across and then damn stupid old bitch ran her red light to turn left and cut me off. I rode the damn bitch's ass from 2nd Street to my turn on Hwy 41. She kept turning to talk to her husband the whole time. Okay, maybe you could learn to drive if you'd shut your damn mouth!

*sigh* Now that I'm not sick anymore, I've been trying to get back into a little bit of a workout again. The 300 crunches I used to do twice a day aren't so easy anymore. -.- Damn you, cold virus! Damn you! And, damn you for the cold sore, too. I went to the dermatologist yesterday, and he gave me a prescription for Valtrex for the cold sore, but those pills are rather large and intimidate me. Why can't all pills be tiny like ortho tri-cyclen? Bleh, at least I only have 6 accutane left. I'll be glad to get off those damn pills. Finally my lips won't constantly be chapped anymore. They're dry enough on their own. -.-

Supposedly Collin, Powers, Daniel, and I are going to Holiday World, but none of us have heard from Daniel, and I'm not even sure if Powers has paid for his ticket yet. If we do go, I think we're going to stay in the water park most of the time. I like being in the water. The only problem is that the sun and I have a mutual hatred for one another (and I'm tired of people telling me I need to tan. Kiss my pale ass. You may think it would be cute now, but in 20 years it won't look so cute anymore). -.- God, aging sucks. I don't want to get old. Yesterday I saw this old woman in the waiting room and the skin on her arm just hung there. There was no muscle, no fat, no anything. It was just wrinkly skin hanging there. o.O Things like that make me wish I was a vampire. I already hate the sun, sleep through most of the day, and I do most everything at night anyway. Immortality and eternal youth would just be extra perks. n_n Then again, there is that whole blood drinking thing. Yuck. -.- Everything has its price I guess.

Brenda (my aunt) asked me if I wanted to go to Mexico. o.O I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I had enough sun screen and I only drink bottled water and always have someone around that speaks Spanish and English. But, then Jesse (my uncle) then said, "If Audrey goes, maybe we can get Rachel to go, too!" and Brenda goes, "Yeah! That's a good idea!" and then Mexico was ruined for me. Brenda and Jesse would have a room together, my brother and cousin would have a room, and I'd be with Rachel. -.- She's just... I don't know what she is, but I've tried being nice to her before when I first met her and she apparently didn't want anything to do with Brenda or her family. She has no interest in me and I have no interest in her, so putting us in a room together probably isn't the best idea. It's not like we'd be at each other's throats though. We never talk, so maybe there's a possibilty that we'd just co-exist and stay out of each other's way for a week or however long they're planning to stay. Of course, none of this is set in stone yet. If I even choose to go I have to come up with $700 first, as would my brother. I've also heard something about my parents wanting to take us to Jamaica, but I don't think they're going to plan anything until a patient of my dad's comes back from there and tells him about it. His patient got a really good deal on going, but we're waiting to find out if it really was a deal or not.

Okay, we are going to Holiday World tomorrow. We're supposedly leaving at 11:00, but I doubt we'll make it out by then. ^^; This is the same group I went to Nashville with, and we didn't even leave until about an hour or so after we planned to. I was, however, picked up at 10:15 as planned. We just piddled around too much. ^^; Humm, I think that's all I've got to say for now.
[plug]
[4:33:33 PM]
©Kitty

©20020530©

 
Ah, I just found a lovely entry in my guestbook. I would have found it sooner had Hotmail not sorted my new entry notifications to my Junk Mail folder. -.-

Name: Star
Homepage: http://www.star-dancer.net
Hometown: Pennsylvania [In case you haven't noticed, Pennsylvania is a state.]
Sent: 20.37 - sun 26 may 2002

People like you honestly make me sick, and if you'd like to consider this a flame please feel free but you don't have that honor from my point of view.
Well, I guess you make yourself sick, too, dear. And yes, I shall consider this a flame, and I don't care what honor I have from your point of view.

Why you totally trashed my website on this lame little thing you have here I know not. You must have some serious issues you need to work out.
Oh really? Did the name "Uncia" not ring a bell with you? I saw that AIM conversation you had with her. She was nice to you, and from the beginning you were nothing but a bitch. You saw that her site had CSS, and you knew your version of Netscape wouldn't support it, but you chose to review her site in that browser even though you had a perfectly good version of Explorer that was compatible with all the CSS.

I hope that you go and see a psycho therapist quite soon, you obviously need one. Since you go around bashing people for no reason at all.
I had a reason. You're a crappy reviewer and a huge bitch even when people try to be nice to you. That's probably why you're not at DtR anymore. :P
*sighs* no wonder the world is falling apart, why wouldn't it. When people like you exist.
Dear, the correct way of saying that would be "Why wouldn't it when people like you exist?" Please learn some English.
Feel free to trash my website all you'd like because honestly sweetie I could care less. I love my site and if you don't that too bad can't please the world now can we.
I'm done with your website. Why would I go back to visit crap? However, I was unaware that I'm the world. I didn't know you held me so highly. *rolls eyes*
Face it, sweetie, you've got no business being a reviewer. Don't dish out what you can't take. :)


And in response to Chibi Selphie (private entry), thank you for your comments. Don't worry about being trashed. I wouldn't trash a good site like yours anyway. Star's website was the first I've ever done that to, and I only did it because she was a total bitch to my friend Uncia. Had Star's site not been trash itself, I wouldn't have done what I did and might have taken her opinions more seriously. When a website reviewer has a shitty site herself, why wouldn't I take anything she says with a grain of salt?
[6:02:36 PM]
©Kitty

©20020529©

 
There was a beaver on Green Street. o.O I'm sure it's road kill by now. It kept trying to head for the two lanes that were the busiest. Poor stupid thing.

I also forgot to mention that I changed the layout yesterday. The image of Angelina is from absolutely.net, and the lyrics are from "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. Obviously, I'm not happy. When I am, maybe my layouts will have some color to them.
[5:15:20 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
I think I have a mouse. -.- I kept hearing something rustling around in the corner of my room where my trash can is located when I went to bed last night. Well, early this morning actually. Then right before I woke up I had a really shitty dream. I was in this really hot room in the middle of this really icy place, and everyone was naked and then they'd run out onto the deck to freeze and their veins would pop up and then they'd run back in. It reminded me of a Sierra Mist commercial. Then I went out on the deck and talked to my family and then I left to go see Michael after I changed clothes repeatedly. We were in some video store and he was getting some games and I had one of them with me while he was looking for more. I was standing near the check out desk and the clerk tried to ring up the game I had, but I told him it wasn't mine, so he waited for Michael. When Michael got up there the clerk started gushing about the game I had laid down called "Dark World." I don't know what the other games were because he didn't say anything about them. After he had paid for the games we walked to this door in the store that apparently led to Michael's room except it wasn't really his room. o.O There was only enough room for a chair, a small couch, and a tv. He was in the chair and I was on the couch and then I said I was bored. I was also really hot, but I didn't complain about that. Then we walked outside the room and the video store wasn't there anymore. Now we were in the woods, and Daniel, Clint, and Powers were there. Clint and Powers were where Michael and I were sitting before and Daniel was wandering around talking about the west side and east side of Evansville for some reason. Michael and I laid down on the ground and were talking, and then he accused me of wanting him only for sex. o.O Then we got into a huge argument about me loving him, and he kept trying to get away from me, but I wouldn't let him out from under me. I asked him if he had ever cheated on me and he said he hadn't and then he told me he had had sex with a complete stranger April 8 (which was a Saturday in the dream and technically we would have been together at that time, but April 8 was a Monday in reality), and I suddenly felt very sick. Then he told me that he had only used me for sex and that he was a jerk and I didn't need him, and then this blue stuff dripped on him and it was his blood. He then proceeded to lick where the drops had landed and said he was getting his iron that way. And then everything was still and we were just laying there. That's when I woke up, and it felt like he was still there. Then I moved and the feeling was gone.
[12:37:34 PM]
©Kitty

©20020528©

 
its not easy being me says: change the damn name
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: why?
its not easy being me says: cause you know its not true
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i don't feel like it
its not easy being me says: why
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: cause i'm tired
its not easy being me says: do you still think that you dont matter
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: and i can't think of anything to change it to
its not easy being me says: ?
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i dunno
its not easy being me says: well change it to me tired buty i dont want to sleep
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: what?
its not easy being me says: change your name to "me tired but i dont want to sleep
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: no
its not easy being me says: well did you have fun tonight
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i guess
its not easy being me says: well thats good
its not easy being me says: so what you done since you got home
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: not much
its not easy being me says: lol
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: well what am i supposed to do at 1 in the morning?
its not easy being me says: lol dont know jsut sit around and thjink
its not easy being me says: so did i leave you out tonight
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: not really
its not easy being me says: thats good
its not easy being me says: i tried to make sure you were still a part of everything
its not easy being me says: see so you got to be happy
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: why?
its not easy being me says: cause you werent left out
its not easy being me says: so you need to be happy
its not easy being me says: why wouldnt you be happy
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: because
its not easy being me says: why
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: what do i have to be happy about?
its not easy being me says: well what is keeping you from beig happy
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: something
its not easy being me says: what
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: it doesn't matter
its not easy being me says: why doesnt it matter
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: because whether i tell you or not, it won't make a difference
its not easy being me says: oh and why might that be
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: because it won't
its not easy being me says: why
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: because, and if i tell you now i'm going to be here for a while and i'm tired
its not easy being me says: oh ok
its not easy being me says: my foot went asleep
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i sorry
its not easy being me says: its nto your fault
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: well then dotn be sorry
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: why
its not easy being me says: caus e you have nothign to be sorry about
its not easy being me says: and you need to be happy
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: why can't i be sorry that your foot fell asleep?
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i can't be happy
its not easy being me says: yes you can be happy
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: no i can't
its not easy being me says: why cant you be happy you have friends that care about you and you have alot of things going for you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: like what?
its not easy being me says: what do you not have that would make you happy
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: ...
its not easy being me says: well i take it that your not going to tell me
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: ...
its not easy being me says: i take that as a your right im not going to tell you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i want to tell you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: but i can't
its not easy being me says: cause its secreative
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: and i just saw lees a bastard
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: what was that?
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: no, not cause it's secretive
its not easy being me says: oh i changed my name to lees a bastard and we all know it
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: oh
its not easy being me says: and why cant you tell me
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: because i can't
its not easy being me says: let me guess it would jsut make things complicated
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i dunno
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: more like i'm afraid to tell you
its not easy being me says: oh ok
its not easy being me says: you do know that i already know
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: do you
its not easy being me says: im not stupid
its not easy being me says: i can see the signs
its not easy being me says: you know im right dont you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i dunno
its not easy being me says: well dont worry im not going to go off on you
its not easy being me says: is that what you were worried about
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: sort of
its not easy being me says: lol dont worry i wont go off on you
its not easy being me says: it doesnt bother me
its not easy being me says: i predicted it
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: did you
its not easy being me says: yep
its not easy being me says: about 2 months ago
its not easy being me says: or so
its not easy being me says: how long ago was trifest
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: not that long ago
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i don't think
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: 2 months would have been march
its not easy being me says: and about a week or so before that was when i predicted it
its not easy being me says: oh
its not easy being me says: well then a month ago
its not easy being me says: or so
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: ok
its not easy being me says: so does it suck that i know you better than you know yourself
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: -.-
its not easy being me says: lol
its not easy being me says: so i take it you have thought about what all has been said in the past
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: ?
its not easy being me says: never mind
its not easy being me says: youll know what i mean if you just think of it rightr
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: ok
its not easy being me says: k
its not easy being me says: so what else are you afrad of
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i dunno
its not easy being me says: well audrey you know the knowledge of your thougths and feelings doesnt change the way i act
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: so dont worry
its not easy being me says: ill still be michael
its not easy being me says: so do you believe that i know what your feeling
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i dunno
its not easy being me says: well trust me i know
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i've been trying to figure out if you're not just trying to manipulate me into telling you by saying you already know
its not easy being me says: no im not doing that i actually think i know what it is
its not easy being me says: you like miles dont you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: o.O
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: what?
its not easy being me says: lol
its not easy being me says: i take that as a no
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: well aren't you brilliant
its not easy being me says: audrey im not stupid
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: i can tell obvious signs and certain tones used
its not easy being me says: which all lead me to what you are thinking
its not easy being me says: not to mention the whole line about being afraid to tell me gives away alot more
its not easy being me says: for one i know it deals with a guy
its not easy being me says: i know its not miles or clint powers and most likely not ben or collin
its not easy being me says: so that leaves maybe justin collin ben and me
its not easy being me says: then there are all the other signs lately that i have noticed with ease
its not easy being me says: which helped me to narrow down the possibilities
its not easy being me says: so am i rihgt so far
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: yeah
its not easy being me says: you dont like justin
its not easy being me says: more than a friend and that wouldnt make me mad if you did
its not easy being me says: right
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: right
its not easy being me says: and you dont like collin you made that clear
its not easy being me says: and judging that you are somewhat getting along with ginger now you must not like ben as much
its not easy being me says: right
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: right
its not easy being me says: well then who does that leave
its not easy being me says: you do know you make it obvious
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: audrey why did you think i would getr mad
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i dunno
its not easy being me says: i know that you prolly knew that i would be frustrated with the whole situation
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: yeah
its not easy being me says: just cause i warned you about this a long time ago
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: when did it change again
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: it's been a while
its not easy being me says: how long of a while
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i can't remember
its not easy being me says: are we talking the allnighter night
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i dunno
its not easy being me says: well if its cause i led you on im sorry
its not easy being me says: i know how i manipulate people
its not easy being me says: you know i sometimes do it without even thinking
its not easy being me says: audrey honestly what do you think is best
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i don't know
its not easy being me says: you know that you mean alot to me
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: and that no matter what i will be here for you
its not easy being me says: we need to just enjoy the time we spend with one another and the group for it will not be to long till it slowly begins to break apart
its not easy being me says: do you know what i mean
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i guess
its not easy being me says: audrey you are a very beautiful person
its not easy being me says: you looked really nice tonight
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: thanks
its not easy being me says: your welcome
its not easy being me says: you know that alot of people think you are very attractive especially when you do go that extra little bit
its not easy being me says: i have to admit myself you dressing normal like tonight is a good look for you
its not easy being me says: all i know is that you can do much better than me
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: maybe i don't want to
its not easy being me says: well you should cause you deserve better than me
its not easy being me says: lately i have been nothing than a jerk
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: but it hasn't changed the way i've been feeling
its not easy being me says: well if you knew what all is going on in my thoughts and what all has went down in the last month you would realize im a jerk
its not easy being me says: i try to pimp
its not easy being me says: and i am a womanizer
its not easy being me says: and i have actaully done things that i wish i never got myself into
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: like what
its not easy being me says: stuff that i am to ashamed to admit
its not easy being me says: just the thoughts i have had are bad enough to make me feel bad
its not easy being me says: i only hurt people
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: no, you don;t
its not easy being me says: actually i do
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: everyone hurts everyone
its not easy being me says: well lately i havent hurt anyone cause i have kept alot of secrets about things to myself
its not easy being me says: i honestly know you can do better than me
its not easy being me says: you need someone that will truly devote ther time to you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i need you
its not easy being me says: why do you need me
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: because...
its not easy being me says: why
its not easy being me says: i am here for you
its not easy being me says: and you know that
its not easy being me says: so what else do you need me for
its not easy being me says: what can i give you that you dont already have
its not easy being me says: ?
its not easy being me says: well
its not easy being me says: audrey
its not easy being me says: audrey
its not easy being me says: audrey
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: what
its not easy being me says: you never answered
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: i dont understand what i have that you need
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i just need you
its not easy being me says: you have me
its not easy being me says: im here no matter what
its not easy being me says: ive always been here for you
its not easy being me says: what is the differance between what we have now and what we had when we went out
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i don't know, but there feels like there's a difference
its not easy being me says: the differance is that we dont have a physical relationship
its not easy being me says: thats all ther is
its not easy being me says: i care about you
its not easy being me says: i honestly do
its not easy being me says: you have to be one of the most important people in my life right now
its not easy being me says: all i have ever done to you is hurt you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: no you haven't
its not easy being me says: since when
its not easy being me says: i hurt you back in november
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: then i hurt you when i broght ashley out
its not easy being me says: then i hurt you when i confused you and manipulated you into choosing me over ben
its not easy being me says: and then i hurt you when i helped ben and ginger get to know each other
its not easy being me says: so when have i not hurt you
its not easy being me says: and i just hurt you the other night
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: so how cn you say that i dont always hurt you
its not easy being me says: can i call you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: my phone's off and on the charger
its not easy being me says: ok
its not easy being me says: well will you answer when have i not hurt you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: the times inbetween
its not easy being me says: but when i do hur you i hurt you bad
its not easy being me says: i jsut know that i will msotl likely hurt you again
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: no you won't
its not easy being me says: trust me i prolly already have
its not easy being me says: without you knowing it
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: what?
its not easy being me says: ?
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: how can i not know if i'm being hurt?
its not easy being me says: it means that i prolly have already done somethign that will hurt you when you find out
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: like what...
its not easy being me says: see i dont want to tell you cause i know it will hurt you someway
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: and i'm afraid to know, but i don't like not knowing either
its not easy being me says: well i dont know if im in a relationship right now or not
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: with who
its not easy being me says: take a guess
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: ashley
its not easy being me says: yeah
its not easy being me says: not to long ago we were talking
its not easy being me says: and well i think we started going out but the last couple of weeks i havent done anythigns with her
its not easy being me says: and i dont hardly talk to her
its not easy being me says: and well all i think is that were just friends
its not easy being me says: i just dont know if she knows it
its not easy being me says: thats why i have been on the rocks lately cause i dont know what is going on in my own life
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: oh
its not easy being me says: yeah yo ucan see why im confused
its not easy being me says: right
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: yeah
its not easy being me says: nto to mention while me and ashley were supossidly going out i was thinking about trying to make a move on chrissy
its not easy being me says: and that made me feel bad
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: going out with one sister and then the other isn't a very good idea
its not easy being me says: i know that
its not easy being me says: all that would do is cause a whole hell of alot of problems
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: yeah
its not easy being me says: i have enough already
its not easy being me says: of course im trying to decide whether or not i should just lay low about the whole ashley thing and just see if she gets the point
its not easy being me says: or at least teh same feelings
its not easy being me says: cause i dont want to do the same thing to her that i did the last time
its not easy being me says: you know how that works righ
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: yeah
its not easy being me says: so how bad am i huritng you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: what do you mean how bad? it's not like i have a measurement scale
its not easy being me says: so was i right that i had already hurt you
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: actually i was thinking something worse
its not easy being me says: really like what
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: like you had fucked a stripper or something
its not easy being me says: no i had the chance almost but i didnt
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: -.-
its not easy being me says: i almost ficked ashley
its not easy being me says: but then i stoped
its not easy being me says: couldnt bring myself to do that
its not easy being me says: ive changed alot
its not easy being me says: im actually beginning to be repulsed by the thought of sex
its not easy being me says: i hate being me
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: why do you hate being you?
its not easy being me says: cause all i do is hurt people and fuck up by dong stupid stuff
its not easy being me says: you know its hard for me to tell you all this stuff
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: i know it probly upsets you
its not easy being me says: right
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: yeah
its not easy being me says: is it as bad as i make it seem
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: no
its not easy being me says: but do you understand a little more why i have been on the edge and why i cant just hop into anything
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: yeah
its not easy being me says: i guess this could also be the reason for me being a grouch
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: maybe
its not easy being me says: so do you see why i think all i would do is hurt you again
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i guess
its not easy being me says: and you know that i am afraid of being hurt again
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: god audrey i wish everything could be simple
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: i jsut honestly think you need some one better than me
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: you said that back in november and i still don't buy it
its not easy being me says: why not
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: because i don't think that way
i don't think of guys being better or worse than another
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: if i like someone, i like someone
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i can't control that
its not easy being me says: well audrey i do and i think you deserve someone that is of bens leval or higher
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i don't care what i supposedly deserve
its not easy being me says: i do
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i don't
its not easy being me says: cause i want you to have the best
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: and i want you
its not easy being me says: well audrey i cant be in a serious relationship right now i have to much on my mind and im not going to put you throught that again
its not easy being me says: i did that once and i have regreted it
its not easy being me says: im not about to do it again
its not easy being me says: i just want to enjoy what happens
its not easy being me says: why cant i ever just know what is meant to happen
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i don't know
its not easy being me says: it would make things so much simpler
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: at least then i wouldnt be able to ruch into things
its not easy being me says: ruch =rush
its not easy being me says: do you know that i need time to think
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: yes
its not easy being me says: and that its nothing against you whatever the outcome is
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: alright just wanting to make sure you know that i have to think about what is best for me and you and everyone else that ties into the equation
its not easy being me says: ill prolly just be a little non emotional for a while while i debate and try to figure things out
its not easy being me says: first thing first i need to decide what i can handle right now
its not easy being me says: ok
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: ok
its not easy being me says: you do know that if you need anything ill be here all you got to do is just give me a call
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: i know
its not easy being me says: pl
its not easy being me says: ok
its not easy being me says: i dont mean to be rude or stop the convo in the middle but i need some sleep
its not easy being me says: and i need to start thinking and getting my mind clear
its not easy being me says: so ill have to talk to you later .... and you need to go to bed
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: ok
its not easy being me says: alrighty
its not easy being me says: byebye
when it comes to me you don't care if i'm alive or dead says: nightnight
[1:54:15 PM]
©Kitty

©20020525©

 
Collin just gave Audrey a nice boost of confidence. n_n
99 out of 100 questions can be answered with one word. $ says: By the way, not to be funny or anything, but you do have quite a beautiful singing voice. You should sing more often.
Gaz says: (MSN blush face)
Gaz says: thanks
99 out of 100 questions can be answered with one word. $ says: Np.
99 out of 100 questions can be answered with one word. $ says: I was like is that someone singing?
Gaz says: hehe
99 out of 100 questions can be answered with one word. $ says: Then I was like who the hell is that? It can't be powers it sounds too good.
99 out of 100 questions can be answered with one word. $ says: Then I was like it's right besides me, that can't be! This person who won't dance for me can actually sing at a volume I can hear and do it well?! Holy shit!
Gaz says: hehe
99 out of 100 questions can be answered with one word. $ says: Yep.
[8:55:46 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
Ow, shit, what the hell did I do to my leg? Oh damn does it ever hurt. I went down in a splits with my right leg out in front and then I heard three pops from my left hip, and Jesus Christ that hurt. Damn, I'm in pain. That has never happened before. Oowwww, I'm not going to be moving for a while.
[2:38:02 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
That bitch is really pushing her luck. Fucking whore. Ugh, you should have seen the shirt she wore to laser tag last night (ugh, it was my fucking plan to go and she wasn't even invited!). It said "lying, cheating, stinking boys." Ha! How about replacing the word "boys" with "Ginger?" You fucking kiss someone that isn't Ben and then hang all over that person right in front of him, and then you hang all over Michael last night with Ben right there! God damn it, I hate you. What, do you just have to go after everyone I want just to get at me? Well, dearest, you nearly got a putter bashed into your skull last night. Not to mention you fucking splattered a discarded milkshake all over my shoes and jeans, and then you go and tell the mini golf group I was in that there was a course on the other side of the building and that we should go over to it so it wouldn't take so long for all nine of us to play, and there was no other god damn course. You weren't even supposed to fucking be there. If it wasn't for you we would have only had two groups and could have stayed together. You did it to get rid of me, you fucking bitch, and when I saw you all over Michael, I was ready to kill you. Watch yourself, bitch.
[11:56:07 AM]
©Kitty

©20020524©

 
Surprisingly, I managed to sleep last night, but I had a dream involving Ben. We were in this room and my exboyfriend was there hitting on me, so I ran to Ben for help and Ben was actually talking. I remember saying "and he grabbed my hand!" when we were whispering and the word "he" came out really screechy like from someone that was losing their voice. I also remember saying it had been over a year since I ha broken up with him, but in reality we would have been in the second month of our relationship last year. I don't even remember when we actually boke up. I just know it was sometime over the summer last year.
... I wonder what I did with my Pez despenser.
God damn, I was pissed last night. I still am, but even though I was so angry there was this little (very little) part of me doing a Nelson "Ha ha!" at Ben for choosing her in the first place. Bad, Audrey, you're not supposed to think things like that. She still better watch herself though.
[12:19:04 PM]
©Kitty

©20020523©

 
*twitch* Ginger, I hope you die, you little mother fucking bitch. UGH! I want to vent about this so fucking badly, but I promised I wouldn't say anything. URG! You bitch, how dare you?! I should fucking kill you. Very fucking slowly for what you did. Right fucking in front of him, you fucking whore, he's your fucking boyfriend. Ugh. You think just because he hasn't asked you through speech you can do whatever the fuck you want? Here's something you can do. Die, you stupid little cock sucking whore. You fuck up again, and I swear I'll fucking murder you.
[11:32:08 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
Last night shouldn't have happened. I knew I shouldn't have stayed. I'm only setting myself up for pain by allowing this to keep happening. You say we can't keep doing this, but you don't try to stop it either when it happens. And I don't stop it because I love you, and I want to feel like you love me. I need you. I can't take this.
[2:21:08 PM]
©Kitty

©20020522©

 
Blah, my mind's not blown anymore. My head hurts though. Lately I've been getting headaches about the same time everyday. >_<
There's something I should really tell Michael, but I'm afraid of his reaction. After all my screw ups he has no reason to listen to me anyway, so I just keep quiet thinking it won't matter whether or not I tell him. I'd completely understand if he rejected me. I deserve it. But I still feel like I should say something to him, and at the same time I think I should just keep my mouth shut. The timing of this makes it look really bad, and I don't want him feeling like I'm coming after him just because I can't have Ben because that isn't it at all. Even through this shit with Ginger I had been losing feelings for Ben and gaining them for Michael again. I just couldn't stand the fact that she was around, and I let that get in the way of everything else. I'm so sorry, Michael. I really do love you.
[6:51:32 PM]
©Kitty

©20020520©

 
It still blows my mind. I don't know WHY it blows my mind, but it does.
[9:55:42 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
Earlier a cover of "Papa Don't Preach" came on. I was thinking, "Hey, this is pretty neat." Then the radio said it was Kelly Osbourne and I was like "What in the hell? Since when does she sing?" Turns out she did a cover with Incubus, the song was her mom's idea, and Kelly doesn't think she sings well, but I liked it, so oh well. Bleh, I wish this damn cold would go away already.
[10:09:38 AM]
©Kitty

©©

 
I'm very upset with Miles. He didn't even tell anyone but Michael that he had gotten back from Mississippi with Ree (the picture he showed me lied o_O muhahaha, I'm still the cutest girl on EV!), and when I found out that he was back and people had already gotten to meet her, I took Daniel, Collin, and Ben with me to find them. We found them at McDonald's, but Miles acted like he didn't want us around, like we'd ruin things for him if we met her. He kept giving me dirty looks at McDonald's, but he never gave them to anyone else. -.-
I also found out what the hell Ginger was talking about. Someone sent her an anonymous VooDoo email and she thought it was me. Stupid bitch, like I'm the only enemy she has. Even though I'm not interested in Ben anymore, I still don't like her. I never did. She fucking gets on my damn nerves. Almost more than cops do. Ugh, so many cops in Evansville last night. We were trying to get to the river front, but there was a detour, so I turned on the road and BAM! Nothing but cop cars everywhere! o_O No one bothered us though, so we continued and we got to the river front and the water was really high, but we went down there anyway even though we weren't supposed to. We had to walk on small ledges and do Metal Gear Solid like things to keep from falling in the water. Pretending to be in a video game, fun stuff. ^^;
[10:05:07 AM]
©Kitty

©20020518©

 
You know you're out of shape when you're GLAD you failed the second stage of DDR3 on easy mode. ^^;;; Tonight was the first time I've ever played anything from the DDR series. I beat Collin, but Daniel beat me, so technically he beat Collin, too. God damn that game is tough. I don't even want to imagine all the arrows that fly at you on the harder two modes. o_O; We didn't get to shoot each other in laser tag like we had planned, but we played indoor mini-golf instead. Powers won by two strokes, Collin came in second, me third, and Daniel was fourth. Afterwards we went to Denny's for icecream and Daniel and Collin started to improv a gay breakup at the table. Powers and I nearly died laughing and had to beg them to stop. There were these guys that kept staring out the window of the door to the dish room, and I think they were probably staring at us, but that was before the improv fun. We always manage to draw attention to ourselves by just being somewhere. I guess we look out of place or something.
[2:51:02 AM]
©Kitty

©20020517©

 
Kitty's review of Star-Dancer.net (otherwise known as Revenge for Uncia):
Ick, very light purple text on a white background. My eyes don't like. Times New Roman font sucks. This is a pointless splash. You could link your forum and story (the first page of your story bored me to death; no one is going to stick around to read the rest of it when it sucks from the beginning, and your artwork is crap as well) from inside the review site. All that's here is a webring and a Yoshi quiz result. No requirements listed at all. Useless. I guess I'll enter now. *clicks "Anime Revew Site"*
... Another splash page? Pointless AGAIN. *clicks* Can I enter now? Or do you have another pointless page to show me? Finally, I get to the damn website. A layout from DDG... Okay, you're a reviewer. You're supposed to have a lot of web experience, so what are you doing using free layouts? And why is the credit to DDG at the bottom PINK when the reast of the layout is BLUE? By the way, it looks like shit in 1024*768 resolution, and you could have EASILY fixed that by adding a background to the navigation bar. Now that I'm done with your layout, I'll move on to the rest of the page... Or lack thereof... The only page you have up is the staff page. You have no content at all. This site sucks. What the hell are you doing being a reviewer?
By the way, there's already a site called Starlight Reviews.
5/18 UPDATE: This time her splash page is a whole layout. The loading time on it would be fine if it wasn't a fricken splash page and I had something worth looking at. This layout is also from DDG. Funny, last night when you were in the middle of updating, you posted a message saying that YOU had made a layout for the page. Oh, I see the layout you made is inside. Still looks bad on this resolution and could still easily be fixed to work with all resolutions. And why does the title bar read "-Artistic Expressions-" when the graphic reads "Starlight Reviews?" Ugh.
[1:11:14 AM]
©Kitty

©©

 
o_O; Ginger just IMed me saying "i take it you like voodoo" and then "he he." To quote that Mario Twins thing, "What in the hell?" O_o; Firstly, WHY is she IMing me, and secondly, what in the hell is THAT supposed to mean? I'll voodoo you, missy.
[12:00:38 AM]
©Kitty

©20020516©

 
I'm in the process of changing layouts, so if things are looking odd, that's why.
EDIT: Everything should match now.
[2:51:52 PM]
©Kitty

©20020513©

 
I have red hair. Nice dark red hair. I did it the other day, but I forgot to post about it. The bottle said "dark reddish blonde," but I couldn't tell where the blonde part was supposed to come in. The sample the store had was just dark red. Maybe I'll turn dumb. :P
[10:47:33 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
Grr... Someone beat me to the last popcicle. No fair. I NEEDED it. I'm gonna go cry now...
Or maybe I'll just finish drinking my Sprite.
[12:21:48 AM]
©Kitty

©20020512©

 
... Ginger just got online. I thought she was supposed to be at camp. . Hisssss...
Maybe I can give her my newly acquired sick germs.
[9:15:23 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
I need a popcicle.
[9:12:38 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
This site and Navi's Orphanage are trading servers when Krissy switches to her new domain. ^.^ She's so nice. I luff her!
As for other hosting things, Starlight Designs has vanished from the internet, although I still have it offline. I'm not sure what happened to Rem-chan. ^^; I don't see her much on MSN anymore. And Magician of Balancing Balls is in the same situation as SD, which is actually sort of a good thing because I didn't really like it at sailormoon.net anyway. ^^ I'm thinking of letting someone take over MOBB, and I do have someone in mind already. I just haven't asked her if she's interested yet. ^^;
[9:10:45 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
My throat doesn't feel right. I think I'm getting sick. Damn you, Matt. Of all the things you choose to share, your damn germs. .
[6:56:06 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
I went with Collin and Ben to see Deuces Wild tonight. It's basically a really bad West Side Story with no dance numbers. Our other option was to see Ice Age, which I've already seen, but I didn't have to pay anyway, so it doesn't matter, and I think we should have opted for that isntead.
[1:13:11 AM]
©Kitty

©20020511©

 
I like this site. You know why? Cause it's got lots of nice fairly large Shirley Manson pictures good for layouts, and it is safe to assume I will use one of them for my next layout. I'm also thinking of changing this site's name to "broken faerie." Oh yeah, speaking of Shirley Manson,


And Collin sent me the pictures of me blowing fire (1,2). We also made Ben into Boy George (1,2,3). Fun fun.

I really need to make a separate page for my quiz results. I have a ton of them. o.O
[3:57:10 PM]
©Kitty

©20020510©

 
Donna found Vader in her car. Yay! Ginger's still a whore. I wrote a poem. No one seems to want me around except Collin and Miles.
[11:20:23 PM]
©Kitty

©20020508©

 
My computer's making funny noises. Probably wasn't the best idea to beat it up earlier. Arr. And Nick and Ben are talking about me. I've just been informed that I'm a big flirt. Well goodie goodie for me. .


Are you a ho? Find out @ She's Crafty
I added Nick on my other MSN contact list. He told me I looked like a faerie and that was my beauty and I need wings. I'm still trying to figure out if he knows who he's talking to since I made him guess who I was and he never told me who he thought I was. Curiouser and curiouser.
[9:58:42 PM]
©Kitty

©20020506©

 
Great, now I've misplaced Vader, and he had strawberry Pez. . I think I might have left him in Donna's car, but I'm really not sure. Arr!
[10:03:45 PM]
©Kitty

©©

 
Somehow I just managed to fix Vader. Now I just hope it doesn't fuck up again.
[9:04:15 AM]
©Kitty

©©

 
I slept until 5:30 when I got home yesterday, and then I went to Cody's and played with the puppy. She tried eating my hair. ^^;;;
I'm going to Hanson with Donna this morning to an outlet store to look for jeans. I'm in desparate need for plain jeans. All mine have glitter on them, and the ones that don't have really big noticable holes in the ass. .
[8:41:04 AM]
©Kitty

©20020505©

 
Daniel and I were going to make Ginger vomit last night, but we couldn't find the stuff at Rite Aid. Arr. And my Vader Pez dispenser just broke. Damn it, Vader, you bastard, now I've got nothing to dispense my Pez. I knew I should have bought that Wolverine dispenser. Anyway, back to last night. Justin called Ginger ugly and a borderline skank. I love you, Justin. =D Too bad it wasn't to her face, but I told Donna, and she said she loved Justin for it, too. ^.^ Cody also got a puppy, and she's so cute! She's part rat terrier and part chihuahua, and when I first saw Amanda with her I thought she was holding a kitten, and I jumped out of Justin's van yelling "Kitty!" and was then corrected that it was a puppy, and a damn cute puppy at that.


what's your battle cry?
mewing.net | merchandise!


You are fun-loving, flirtatious, a heartbreaker. You can be manipulative and devious to get your way but it's all part of seeking the best out of life. You are a woman of freedom in every single way. With your spirited nature, grace, and charming ways - you will go far in life.
Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.


Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

[11:43:02 PM]
©Kitty

©20020504©

 
We had a plan at the beginning of the week to see Spider-man last night, but halfway through the week Clint starts telling us all that it's sold out before it even opened. I got Collin (and scared him with my driving ^.^ ha! serves you right for all the times you've nearly killed me with yours), Ben, and Powers, and we went anyway and had no trouble getting tickets. Ok, so three for the 9:30 show came from a guy outside the building, but we didn't pay any extra for them, so who cares? That still left getting Powers a ticket, and it looked like the 9:30 was about to sell out, but we had Jim Britt to save the day (err... night)! We were going to trade our 9:30's in for 10:00's, but Jim got us another 9:30. Yay, Jim! ^.^
HA! Take that, Clint.
[10:54:30 AM]
©Kitty