Don't speak. I know just what you said, so please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts. Don't speak. I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts...


When I was little, a music video freaked the fucking hell out of me, but I never knew what video it was. The scene of a girl's stomach being cut into and passed around and eaten was the only thing that stuck in my mind from it this whole time, and this afternoon I saw the video again. I didn't realize that Alice had turned to cake the first time I saw it, and from that time I had twisted it in my mind that there was a blue girl lying in a dark room with demons around her and cutting her stomach like a pie and passing around the slices. Tom Petty, I must slap you.

I'm getting really sick of someone being too much like me. Today I log on MSN and her name is "forever kittens," oddly enough a day after I've been going on about my neighbor's kittens. Sorry, dear, but I've already been nicknamed Kitty by the guys, and you're not taking that from me.
10:38:59 PM


The little orange and white cat had her kittens! She had four, and three look like her, and one is black, white, and orange, and I think that one's the cutest one, but my neighbor doesn't think so. She thought he was going to turn out ugly because of it. =( There's no such thing as an ugly kitten.

I go through the trouble of changing my email address, adding everyone on MSN again, and getting all the addresses back in my address book so I can get rid of all the spam I was getting at my old address. Only a few days after I've added everyone back on MSN and what do I have? NATIONAL ASSET & BACKGROUND SEARCHES!!!.. _WE CHECK PEOPLE OUT is in my inbox twice from two different hotmail addresses. There's a phone number included, and someone's going to have a very bad day at work tomorrow. .
10:34:11 PM


Clint broke the pool cue I could blow fire out of last night, and before that everyone kept taking it from me. .
Donna told everyone about my Smells Like Teen Spirit cheerleader Halloween idea and decided she wanted to do it, too. .
Ginger isn't going away, was out in Ben's car with him for a long time, and found out about my SMLTS idea and liked it, too. .
I'm really fucking annoyed... It was my fucking idea, I was supposed to be the only one, and none of the guys were supposed to find out until I showed up for class on Halloween. I would really fucking appreciate it if people wouldn't try to be me, especially when a certain someone is already trying to replace me and seems to be succeeding, which really fucking pisses me off because that means he led me on and used me, and if he even tries to do it again when she leaves for camp I will raise Hell. Fuck fuck fucking fuck.

Oh, and I've decided I'm getting my lip pierced. Now I just have to tell mom and let her completely spaz out and say no and keep pestering her until she gives in like with the hair dye even though I'm 18 and legally don't need her permission to do it, but I live in her house, so it's probably a good idea to talk it over with her first, although I'm pretty sure she wouldn't ever kick me out over something like that, but I know she wouldn't be too fond of it either. Long run on sentences are fun, but I'm not feeling any better about things.
1:00:51 AM


Last night I had to go this jazz performance with Donna for class. We were eating Pez and attempting to take notes, but we played our own version of Blue's Clues instead. ^^;;; She also decided to eat the head of my storm trooper despenser and licked the insides of Spiderman. . Arg, now they're tainted with Donna spit, and I must find a way to wash them without soap residue hiding in the cracks avoiding its rinsing. However, Vader was unharmed, but I liked Spiderman better. Next week on Pez Theatre, Santa's affair with Vader is discovered, and Storm Trooper is appalled that Vader had the nerve to cheat on Spidey and the two begin plotting revenge.
2:24:17 PM


There was a tornado warning earlier, and mom insisted that I come down to the basement. Of course, nothing happened. I knew nothing would. Nothing ever does. Mom was on the phone with my aunt, and my aunt spazzed and said she was coming over. She brought her dogs with her. I'm sure they did their business all over the garage and it's going to reek really bad tomorrow.

I should be in bed now. I should have been in bed at least an hour ago. I have to be at the Fine Arts Center by 9:00 tomorrow morning. I don't remember what I'm supposed to be doing. Putting up a set, or tearing one down. One or the other. I wonder if I'll get to play with the lighting again? Being on the catwalks was actually pretty cool, and the heights really didn't get to me too bad since I was too busy concentrating on getting the lights set. Right... Going to bed.

New layout featuring the cheshire cat. I still have to switch the guestbook over to match, and I need to get an email form. I'm not going to give out my email address anymore. I had to get a new one because too much spam went to the last one. Sprite and blinkie request will be up as soon as I find a decent form service. Or maybe I should just get a forum for that. I think a forum would work better, and then just leave the email form for site comments. Ok, I'm really going to bed this time.
11:39:43 PM


There's going to be a cook out at Clint's Saturday, and apparently everyone Michael invited is thinking about coming. That's a lot of people to fit in a silo. o_O Please don't rain. I can't be in there with everyone all at once. There's actually going to be more than two girls this time. There's only one I really don't want to be around, and I'm sure we can all guess who. She's too damn giddy. I hate that. Ok, yeah, certain things make me giddy, too, but if I see a total stranger with an interesting piercing I don't run up to him and ask if I can play with his septum. -.- She friggen ran up to some guy to ask him if she could touch his hat. There wasn't even anything interesting about the hat. It was just a plain black hat. o.O

Collin confirmed more shit talk from Donna. He told me that if I had looked up from crying Friday night, I would have seen her talking about me. He said she was ready to kick my ass. How nice. Guess I know who not to have a panic attack around now. I was awfully naive never to even consider that she was talking shit about me when I knew that she talked about Ginger and Tiffany to me behind their backs.
11:39:03 AM


ARGH! Cops fucking suck. Earlier in the park I had a panic attack or something, and I felt like everything was closing in on me and I couldn't breathe, and the motherfuckers wouldn't back the fuck off. They were too fucking retarded to see that they were making it worse! Then the son of a whore told me I should go sit on a bench away from people, or else someone might complain about me and they'd have to take me away. Bastards. Since when did it become a fucking crime to cry?

Donna's a traitor. Yeah, I know about the conversation with Cody, Donna. She told me what you said and how you cussed at her and bad mouthed me. You lied to me saying it was her that did that to you. I never brought any of it up, and I get two different stories anyway. You claim you love me, but you don't really care, do you?
1:19:24 AM


Ginger is coming to Tri-Fest with us. . Ginger can go to hell.
5:41:28 AM


Ginger, Ginger, Ginger! Shut the fuck up about Ginger, Michael! I don't care about Ginger, so just shut up! Ginger is NOT my friend, and I don't want to hang around her, and I sure as fucking hell don't want to see her hanging all over Ben, so just drop it!
10:14:55 PM


My mother thinks there was a conspiracy with the casting of the play. She didn't really think anything of it at the time when I complained about hardly getting to read at auditions while others got to read a lot until she saw who was playing Bianca. She thinks the girl's parents had some influence on her casting, which I wouldn't doubt considering who her father is, and she had no prior experience and is no better than me. But anyway, enough of the theatre bitterness. For now...
Amanda (not the Amanda mentioned previously) told me she thinks Michael's hot. She's only 14 and knows she's too young, but I think her crush on him is cute. Not like it matters though since she's moving out of town soon. And Donna's friend Ginger is after Ben even though she knows we both like him. >_< She must be dealt with accordingly. Why can't she just go to Loucon and never come back?
7:16:36 PM


We broke up early this morning around 2:00, only a little over an hour after our two week mark. ;.; I'm sorry things couldn't work out.
10:02:21 PM


I talked to Clint earlier, and I believe that Michael and I are bound for break up. I just can't be with anyone right now.
11:45:40 PM


Michael, you make me nervous talking about having bad feelings that something is about to go wrong. It makes me think you mean us.
10:43:52 PM


Ok, so we weren't then, but we are now. You and your damn technicalities. Feh.
9:52:30 PM