Broken Faerie

I wish I could cry. Hell, I wish I could hate you, but the love I have won't let me. I hate these feelings. Sometimes I wish I could just die. Not that you'd ever notice I was gone. You don't even notice when I'm here, so what difference would it make? You always whined to me because I wouldn't let you see this page. Frankly, you don't deserve to see it, but if you wanted to see it that badly, you would have found it by now. It's not that hard. All you have to do is check my damn MSN profile. But, you're a common sense lacking idiot, so I guess that concept is too much for you.
[12:46:06 PM]
©Kitty

I'm all moved into Love-Buzz.org now. ^_^ *hugs Sarah* Thank yooou!
[10:41:12 AM]
©Kitty

Michael, you are so lucky you're not online right now. When the fuck do you plan on being honest with me? Like how you're in a relationship with Ashley? Funny, do you remember that conversation we had? Two of them actually. The first one you said you weren't serious about her, and then the second one you said you only wanted friendship. What happened to that? Or do you just need a fix every time you get horny? Is that it? You are such a terrible liar. You say you're only at Chrissy's all the time because she's away at college. If it weren't for Ashley, I might believe that, but it's bullshit. You're only over there in hopes of getting some out of that little skank. Well, now that we've confirmed that you cheated on her twice, have you told her? If you don't tell, I will. Why the hell do I have to be attracted to you of all damn people? You make me sick, and now I have to wonder, did you ever cheat on me, too? Why don't you just change your name to David?
[1:32:23 AM]
©Kitty

Nyaaa-haaaaah! T_T Tripod replaced my index file with my audition page for SM:O. >_< Grrr. Evil, evil, evil! And, I just realized that that spider from yesterday survived living in the refridgerator since May 26. No wonder I thought it was dead. It was just waking up. -.-

Donna got into town the other day, and I went to her house yesterday, and we tye-dyed shirts. ^_^ I made a nifty purple one for myself. I tiwsted it as if I was wringing out water instead of twirling it the way you're supposed to and let it soak up blue, and then I dipped random spots in purple. I may have sprinkled some green on then, but I don't remember. I took it over to the sink and took the rubber bands off to see what it looked like, and there was a whole bunch of white left, but the design was neat. Donna had already thrown out the blue when I went to take the bands off, so I twirled it like normal and let it soak up purple and then rinsed the shirt, and it turned out spiffy. ^_^ After we finished tye-dying, we cleaned up our mess and started making cakes for Justin's fairwell party. We ended up getting there two hours late because of it, and then only Collin and Michael had a piece. I made Ben eat a bite of mine because I wanted him to at least try it. I don't remember if Daniel got any or not, but I know none of the others did. Their loss because now it's on its way to Loucon to be eaten by the 16 girls Donna lives with up there. My mom really enjoyed the chess cake and saved a few pieces for later, and I saved a piece of chocolate for later. I think my dad might have gotten a piece of chess, but I'm surprised he or my brother didn't get into the chocolate. Maybe they thought the icing was flavored since we colored some of it blue to make a marble design. All this talk about the cakes is making me want my saved piece. ^^; But, all I've eaten today is cake, so I should probably eat "real food" instead of more cake. Plus, I've only got one piece, so I want to save it at least until tomorrow. ^^;
[3:05:18 PM]
©Kitty

Oh God, YUCK! Damn it, I HATE spiders! And, I just found one on the strawberry I was about to eat. *shudder* I thought it was dead and just laid the strawberry down to throw it away later, but then it started moving! x_X And, now the little shit disappeared, so I can't kill it! ARG! *falls over twitching and mumbling incoherrantly*
*gets up momentarily* As for good news, Nic said I would be a good Minako or Michiru and let me choose which one I wanted to be. I am now Minako. ^_^ *falls back down due to spider trauma*
[11:49:18 AM]
©Kitty

Like I said previously, I can VA again! ^_^ Go here to listen to my audition clips for Sailor Moon: Orion's Story.

Thank you again, Sarah! And, thank you, Alex, for asking her to consider me as a hostee. You're both so nice! *hugs* ^_^
[7:58:53 PM]
©Kitty

Miles is talking about turning Powers into crystalized butter. o.O; I wonder if he's still mad at me? ^^; He's gonna just have to get over it if he plans to attend Justin's fairwell party. He heads off to basic training pretty soon. I'll make sure to tell his supervisor to punish him for knocking my contact out the yesterday at Burdette. :P And for flicking a hornet that landed in the pool at me. @_@ He tried to dunk me several times but only succeeded in dunking himself repeatedly since I have the tendency to cling to whatever bouyant object is near me. The bouyant object just happened to be a float shaped like an 8 with Collin and Daniel in it. I think Collin helped a little bit by knocking Justin's legs out from under him. Drew wasn't home, so we got Powers instead. Sorry, Drew, I still love you, and you're going to Holiday World with us anyway, so let this be a lesson to you to be home at the time we tell you we're picking you up. The best thing about going to Holiday World is that I don't have to drive. XD

I love Chatterbox 109 in GTA3. Citizens Raging Against Phones (CRAP), guys that eat carrier pigeons, and guys that run around naked. As long as the police sirens aren't constantly going off, I'm happy.
[9:18:46 PM]
©Kitty

I can VA again! *bounces happily* I can update my voice page! *bounces again* And, Sarah signed my guestbook and said she could host me! *bouncebouncebounce* ^_____^ Time to switch computers and work on some sprites and blinkies and stuff. ^.^
[8:59:57 PM]
©Kitty

Well, isn't this a lovely bit of bullshit? Taking pictures of patients at abortion clinics and then posting them online. You anti-abortion fanatics (it's cool to be pro-life, but this fanatical crap doesn't cut it) piss me off more and more everyday. These women have to put up with your bullshit preaching and harrassment every time one of them goes to an abortion clinic, but apparently that's not enough for you. You want them to be recognized on the street as someone who had an abortion when it's really nobody's business but theirs. Is it anyone else's business when you go to the doctor? I didn't think so. This shouldn't be any different. By doing what you're doing, you're putting these women at risk of being physically asaulted on the streets if someone recognizes them from your stupid site. Pro-life fanatics already bomb clinics and murder doctors, and now you want them to asault the patients, too. What right do you have to snap pictures of people that don't want their picture taken? You don't have any right at all. You claim it's your right to free speech and you're "journalists," but that's bullshit. When a photographer for a newspaper snaps a photo of someone, they have to get that person's name, and if that person does not want to appear in the paper, the photographer is SOL and has to find someone willing to appear. Your website is like the photographer's paper. No permission, no picture. You're violating these women's rights to privacy. What do you even know about them anyway? So, that girl walking out looks like she's 18, and she's dressed preppy, and you automatically assume she's slept with the whole town and should have taken responsibility for her actions. But, that's what you made up in your head, isn't it? She's really a 15 year old rape victim, still traumatized that her virginity was stolen. Does she deserve to carry the fetus of the bastard that raped her? NO, and she has the damn right to get an abortion if she wants to. Have you ever thought that maybe it was in her best interest? No, of course not, you're too busy caring about something that can't even think for itself. You don't give a fuck at all what that poor girl had to go through. It's none of your business anyway. None of it is. It's no one's business but that girl's. How would you like it if you were diagnosed with an STD, and I waited outside the doctor's office and snapped pictures of you, only to then go and post them online and tell everyone that you have such-and-such STD? You wouldn't like that too much, would you?
[6:17:41 PM]
©Kitty

*blink* I have absolutely nothing to say right now, so I'll just talk about nothing in particular. I'm currently braless, and I don't like it. It feels odd. I don't have much there to hold up in the first place, but it still feels very odd and uncomfortable after being used to always wearing one all these years. o.O If I didn't wear a strapless yesterday, I wouldn't have this problem, but there's no way I was gonna sleep in a strapless because I'd end up losing it anyway. I plan to take a shower soon, so then I'll get to be bra-ified again, so it will be all good. Yay.

I forgot to put the cap back on my vanilla coke last night. -.- Luckily, it didn't go flat. There went 250 empty calories and the enamel of my teeth. I hope they make a decent diet version because I could drink this stuff all day, and I don't need to just inhale empty calories like that. Then again, I used to drink Sunkist non-stop and did nothing all day and still maintained a 110 pound weight somehow. o.O

I'm going to Burdette Park today, and I have no idea how to get there, but Collin says he does. This should be interesting. And, I know where the Nick Knackery is now! Well... Sort of... Mom told me what road it was on, and I know it's on the left side of the road and on a corner because I remember that much from when I couldn't drive and mom still had to take me places. I neeeeeed kitty ears. Not want, but neeeeeed. I could run by there now, but then I'd have to come back to Henderson to get Drew and Collin and then all the way back to Corydon to get Daniel and then turn around and go back to Evansville to get to Burdette Park, and that would just use up too much gas. However, I could drag them there with me, but I'll feel really dumb if I can't find it if the road mom told me was wrong. She said she thought it was on Virginia Ave., but she wasn't sure... Oh well. I have to pee, and I'm going to plug some people now.

Alex: I found his site the other day, and it was a "Holy shit, this is awesome" moment. And, he actually sparked commentary from me, which is quite rare when I find a blog that has a commenting option. So, go visit him now. I command you. Do it now, or feel the wrath of God! Ok... So I'm not God, but I still demand that you visit his site!

Emma: Emma is God with a paintbrush. Her sprites are awesome, and her talent puts me to shame. And, she does requests! Yay for Emma! You should go visit before I thwack you.

Okay, so I only plugged two people, but you've got to understand I really have to pee!
[11:47:01 AM]
©Kitty

-.- I just found out I started my first pack of birth control pills a week late. I was told to take them the Sunday after I started my period. Wouldn't you know it, my period started on a Sunday. -.- So, I was confused on what to do. My mom told me to just wait until the next Sunday, but I was reading through the little information booklet just now and it said if you start your period on a Sunday, you should start the pills that day. -.- I need to start reading the information that comes with it before I start using it. Arg. I don't think it will make much difference in my next period anyway. At least, I hope it doesn't throw it off.
[11:34:08 PM]
©Kitty

*scratches head* I just got an invitation to join imood, which is rather silly since I'm already a member. o.O They claim someone I know invited me, which is a possibility since I received it at the email I've only given to people I know. I also switched my imood account to that address and then back to an address I never use (so don't bother emailing starkitty@nekostar.net because I'll likely never see it), but it wouldn't really make sense for them to spam that address since they should know I'm already a member. Blah.
[10:24:57 PM]
©Kitty

I forgot to mention I did go ahead and put Enchanted Nightmares up again. It's on Blog*Spot for now because I'm not in the mood to make a layout for it and move it to Tripod yet. I managed to remember 5 dreams from last night. o.O I know there was a 6th one, and it had to do with Daniel, some sort of foreign food, and driving around in Ben's neighborhood, but I can't remember what was said or what happened although I'm pretty sure Daniel was talking about the food. I just don't remember what he said about it. I knew what it was, but after writing all the others out, I forgot it. ^^; Collin told me that most people can only remember 4 dreams a year, but I just remember 5 right there and a few others from previous days, so what's the deal with me? o.O
[1:19:31 PM]
©Kitty

Hehe, Star came back and left another entry. I'm so glad everyone likes amusing me. XD Star, sweetie, if my site is, as you put it, a "lame little thing," why are you back?
[1:37:51 AM]
©Kitty

And, again she hangs all over everyone else of the male gender more than she does her own boyfriend. Poor Ben. :( We went down to the river after laser tag and eating at Fazoli's. We threw junk in the river for a while until it got boring, and we started to play fight. I hit my knuckle on Collin's elbow, and it still hurts. ^^; I finally let Ben play with my car and let him put the top down. He didn't really care about driving around like that. He only wanted to play with the buttons. ^^; At the end of the night he gave me a hug, which surprised me. I wanted a hug, but I sure as hell wasn't expecting to be offered one. Turn about is fair play I suppose. If Ginger can hang all over everyone, why can't Ben hug me, right? *sigh* I just know she's going to hurt him. I wish there was a way I could get him to see that she's really not worth his time, but since I liked him before he'll probably assume that it's just me being jealous. And, if he's really that stuck on her, he wouldn't listen in the first place. Sometimes I wish I could just have the ability to keep everyone from being hurt, like just wrap them up in a blanket and hold them until everything was okay. Poor Ben. He doesn't deserve this bullshit.
[1:18:27 AM]
©Kitty

Grr, the little bitch got online after all.

Rebel Prince says: We have a problem.
Kitty says: what?
Rebel Prince says: Ginger is aware of tonights happenings. We can lie and blow her off if you want.
Kitty says: this is a problem how?
Rebel Prince says: You know ben and Ginger are ben and ginger.
Kitty says: yeah, and they're not getting a chance to fuck around in my car
Rebel Prince says: I know.
Rebel Prince says: That's why she's like "I can drive."
Kitty says: ugh
Rebel Prince says: I know.
Rebel Prince says: What do we do audrey?
Kitty says: hmm Rebel Prince says: If she drives that frees up space and leaves room for other stuff....
Kitty says: -.-
Rebel Prince says: For instance lazer tag, or minigolf, or well that's it.
Kitty says: the last time at laser tag she was lucky she didn't get a putter to the head
Rebel Prince says: lol
Kitty says: i'm not putting up with her
Rebel Prince says: Heh ok.
Rebel Prince says: well help me here
Kitty says: can't you tell her we don't have room since i'm supposedly getting daniel, too?
Rebel Prince says: She's driving!
Kitty says: grrr
Kitty says: does she know about where we'd be going?
Rebel Prince says: She's asking me where we're gonna meet.
Kitty says: -.-
Rebel Prince says: I know.
Kitty says: can't you just fake a boot?
Rebel Prince says: We still have ben.
Kitty says: true
Kitty says: damn it
Rebel Prince says: I know.
Rebel Prince says: We'll meet her at Walmart.
Kitty says: what?
Rebel Prince says: Do you have some idea that's gonna get rid of her?
Rebel Prince says: I can't think of anything.
Kitty says: arg!
Kitty says: this isn't a good idea
Rebel Prince says: Everything I'm thinking of will make ben mad at me.
Kitty says: arg
Kitty says: what are you thinking of?
Rebel Prince says: Telling her the wrong place.
Rebel Prince says: Telling her it isn't happening.
Rebel Prince says: But ben would catch that one.
Kitty says: yeah
Rebel Prince says: Time is counting out here also....
Kitty says: yeah
Rebel Prince says: Can he help in any way?
Kitty says: he? ben?
Rebel Prince says: Clint
Kitty says: i dunno
Kitty says: what's he gonna do?
Rebel Prince says: I don't know.
Rebel Prince says: She's taking control of this audrey....
Rebel Prince says: Jesus christ.
Kitty says: god damn it
Rebel Prince says: It's gonna take her 1.5 hours to get there.
Kitty says: what?
Rebel Prince says: God fucking damn it!
Rebel Prince says: I can't keep her from going.
Rebel Prince says: She's going to bens.
Kitty says: grrrr
Kitty says: if she gets her ass kicked it's her own damn fault
Rebel Prince says: but that will be in like an hour or so.
Kitty says: i don't want to go in an hour or so when i could go now
Kitty says: going now would get rid of her
Rebel Prince says: Well it's gonna take that long to get everyone.
Rebel Prince says: And still ben won't leave without her.
Kitty says: -.-
Kitty says: damn you ben
Rebel Prince says: Please, just come get me.
Rebel Prince says: We'll figure the rest out as it comes.
Kitty says: ok

Damn you to fucking hell, Ginger! ARG!
[6:56:12 PM]
©Kitty

Ginger really disgusts me. After everything she's already done, now she's deciding that she may dump Ben since he's in Henderson and she's in Litchfield and he doesn't talk so they've got no contact. I'm really worried about him. I think he's already attached to her. -.- I said it was stupid for them to get involved from the very beginning, but does anyone ever listen to me? *sigh* Donna called me from camp today (I miss her sooooo much!), and she said that Ginger flirts with everyone there that she can tell Donna likes. Donna also told me that Ginger wants to talk about Michael not-stop now. I'm seeing a pattern here. Donna and I liked Ben. Ginger went after Ben. We get over Ben. Everyone starts thinking I like Collin for some reason. Ginger hangs all over Collin. Donna likes boys working at camp, and I like Michael. Ginger is all over the guys at camp and talks about Michael non-stop. I swear, I honestly think everything she does is based around pissing us off!

Supposedly the little tramp is in town right now and told Donna that she was wanting to do something with us tonight, us probably including Ben. So, if she really wanted to see Ben or anyone, wouldn't she have been online by now to make plans? I think she's already decided to break things off and she's just avoiding him. *sigh* To top it all off, she works at a Christian camp and came back into town to avoid going to church on Sunday. Warren, whatever were you thinking when you hired her? -.-

Donna wants us all to come up and watch their presentation on the life of Christ. I'd really like to visit her at Loucon. No one has to know I'm not Christian, and I wouldn't be there that long, just long enough to watch the presentation and chill with Donna for a while. The best thing that I heard about this presentation is that Ginger, of all people, is playing the Virgin Mary! I was rolling on the floor. Donna says the other actors are always really mean to Mary when they perform. XD I know it's just acting, but watching Ginger be the one that's mistreated is good entertainment. Ginger! Mary! HA!
[plug]
[5:30:22 PM]
©Kitty

Grah, I was supposed to wake up at 8, but my alarm didn't go off. -.- And, now it's nearly 10. Stupid thing, of all days it decides to be a shit. I know it wasn't that I didn't hear it because if it had gone off like it was supposed to, it would still be going off right now. It's only done this once before, and I don't know why it just chooses particular times not to work. -.- Unless I'm pulling a Ben and turning things off in my sleep, I don't know what the hell is wrong with it. I guess I should have gotten up at 6 when I jerked awake for no apparent reason (me waking up like that after only 4 hours of sleep is rediculous). When I woke up then I could have sworn I heard the alarm start to beep, and I jolted up because I hate that sound, and then I realized there was no alarm going off, and when I checked my watch it read 5:58. The alarm was still set at that time, mind you. -.- I thought about getting up then, but I didn't feel like it. Why take only 4 hours of sleep when I could get 6? Or, now since my alarm didn't go off, 7 1/2.

I'm thinking of opening Enchanted Nightmares (dream blog) back up. There really wasn't a reason to close it in the first place except that Barry had found it and kept reading the strange dreams I was having. -.- It's funny; some friends I can let read my journal and stuff and others I can't, and I haven't quite figured out why.

Urg, and now Daniel's messaged me and told me to go back to bed because he couldn't get approval to drive. -.-

The Last Starfighter says: Mom gave me a bunch of dumb reasons, like Powers and Drew still hadn't given me money for the tickets, and holiday world is far away, and brian needs the car cause he has a date, and so on.
Kitty says: you know, i'd really love to slap your mother
Kitty says: i thought you were going to ask your dad
The Last Starfighter says: I did, but he decided to stick with my mom. Politics and such.
Kitty says: ugh
The Last Starfighter says: If I can get hired somewhere this coming work week, this kind of thing shouldn't be a problem in the future. We just need to postpone for a week or so.
Kitty says: we've been postponing
The Last Starfighter says: Yeah, a couple of times, but I'm not going to let this get past another two weeks. Not like last summer.
Kitty says: -.-
The Last Starfighter says: Hey, on the bright side, maybe we can hit a weekday. It'll shave an hour or two of the time the park is open, but it should be rather empty.
Kitty says: you don't wake me up to tell me it's not happening -.-

No offense, Daniel, but your mother needs to pull the stick from her ass.
[plug]
[10:11:55 AM]
©Kitty