Don't speak. I know just what you said, so please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts. Don't speak. I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts...


Well, camping was fun. Shame on me, I should have posted the night I got home. Oh well. I've got glasses now because my eyes were drying out too badly for me to wear my contacts. Cody told me she saw Damien skating down the street one day and she drove him to the skate park. There was no mention of me. Figures. I know he likes her, too. Probably more, but I'm not going to worry about it. There's apparently nothing between us anyway if he won't even attempt to call me. Oh well. I got a cell phone, so I guess I could call him sometime and leave him the number and we can still do the whole friend thing. We're better that way anyway. At least he's not a potential stalker like the others were. Speaking of potential stalkers... Amanda stayed the night with me the other day, and I let her use my cell to call Eric, but he wasn't home, so she asked if she could call Mike's to see if Eric was there. Well, he wasn't, and Mike has caller id, and he knew Amanda was going to be with me that night, so he was like, "Are you on Audrey's cell phone?" but Amanda lied and said it was her cousin's. I've got his number programed into my phonebook, so my caller id will show his name if he ever attempts to call me. So far, he hasn't. Bless the stars for that!
11:09:06 AM


Blast, why is publishing unavailable? I want it available now, not two minutes from now! Blarg!
Anyway, I'm leaving today to go camping with Amanda, and I won't be back until late Saturday. Wee! ^_^ And I actually think I packed everything I need. Yay!
1:29:45 PM


... Damien and I really need to talk. I'm afraid this may be ending before it can even begin, although I'm not quite certain how to tell him this. He may be thinking the same thing I am. Who knows?
I suppose I should tell him sooner than later and hope our friendship isn't ruined. The ratio of exboyfriends that want to stay friends to exboyfriends that don't want to stay friends isn't exactly in our favor. =(
12:35:22 PM


Blarg. I'm disappointed. I wanted to call Damien from the college, but I couldn't find a phone, so I thought I'd just stop by his house. His grandma's car was there, but no one answered the door. I came back to school and found a phone in the A&S building, but it wouldn't cooperate with me. There was a sign that said to dial 9 to call somewhere off campus. Tried that twice and had no luck. I got online in hopes of my brother being on MSN to get Damien's phone number from him to see if I dialed the right thing. Phone numbers and I aren't the best of friends. But my brother is nowhere to be found. Probably playing Myth. AGAIN. Someone get that kid a life.
6:08:55 PM


It turned out that Donna was in a different computer lab than I was. We both auditioned last night, but they didn't have me read as much as last night. They're supposed to call everyone sometime today to tell us whether we got a part or not, so I suppose I should get offline now. Not much to do online anyway. I want to talk to Damien, damn it.
10:46:04 AM


Or not. I'm here, and I see her nowhere. Oh well. I'll see her in class in half an hour.
11:48:01 AM


I auditioned for The Curse of Frankenstein last night. Yay. I'll probably go back again tonight. I have class in an hour and a half. Boo. Thinking of thesis statements sucks. I haven't talked to Damien since Friday, and I probably won't be able to call him tonight. Auditions lasted until 9:30 last night. I'd call him now, but that would be pointless since I know he's at work. I think I'm going to head to school now. I think I'm supposed to meet Donna in the library 20 minutes ago.
11:16:47 AM


After starting my period and being pissy, I decided to go to the mall the other day. When I got there, I realized I only had $20, so I got even more pissy, but that's not the point. On my way to Eastland, I saw this black boy walking with this white girl. I don't know if they're dating or not, but it looked like they might be. It made me sad and jealous to see them. It isn't fair that they're free to walk around together not worrying or caring who sees them. I bet she doesn't have a dad that threatened to shoot her and the guy if she ever brought home a black date. That's the bullshit I've had to hear ever since I was a little girl. Any time an interacial couple would be shown on tv, my dad would always look at me and say, "If you ever bring home a black guy, I'll shoot you both." I don't understand why he has to be this way. He pisses me off. Sometimes I want to hit him as hard as I possibly can, but I know if I ever tried I'd probably wind up unconscious. I wish I could tell my mom about Damien. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't care, but if my dad ever found out, he'd yell at her for allowing it. At least if I keep him secret she has plausible deniability on her side. Of course, keeping this relationship a secret is already proving to be difficult. The other day, I told my mom I was going to be at school late, but I was actually with Damien. I feel really bad about lying to her, but it was the only way I could see him. I have no idea how I'm going to manage to pull this one off.
6:12:07 PM